So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND
HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND
NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN
I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES
NICK P L E A S E
SO IF YOU SAY “I’M SO DONE WITH THIS SHOW. IT’S TERRIBLE. THE ACTORS SUCK. I’M NEVER WATCHING IT AGAIN”
OKAY THAT’S GREAT. GOOD FOR YOU. I DON’T REALLY CARE IF YOU STOP WATCHING IT COZ IT’S YOUR LIFE SO WHATEVER. DO YOU WANT A MEDAL?
BUT NOW THAT YOU’VE ANNOUNCED YOURSELF, IT’S TIME TO PIPE THE FUCK DOWN AND MOVE ON BECAUSE I DON’T REALLY WANT YOUR NEGATIVITY ANYWHERE NEAR ME WHEN I’M PERFECTLY HAPPY WATCHING THE SHOW.
I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.
For example, you can:
- be in a shampoo commercial
- start a boy band:
- spot some choice booty:
- break into song:
- see some people in frankly offensive outfits:
- attend a metal show:
- listen to some sick jams:
- discover zombieism:
- sample some tasty snacks:
- watch someone get burned bad:
- find something you really like:
- find something you really, really like:
- find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:
- and wonder if you left the stove on: